Today is her birthday, and I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.
10 years ago, I never would have imagined this is what our life would look like when I first held her in my arms.
When I looked into her big brown eyes, I promised myself that I would do anything and everything that I possibly could for her.
And that included trying to make a “destined to fail” marriage with her dad work. I remember thinking to myself that if I could just be happy with her, nothing else would matter.
But even that didn’t last forever. He left and that began the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced.
Because when you love someone so much you would do anything for them, you have to make sacrifices.
The entire time I was fighting for custody, my only goal was for her to live with me. I couldn’t imagine life any other way.
So when she decided to live with her dad, I refused. For a really long time. Until I realized that I needed to keep my promise that I would do ANYTHING for her.
She was struggling… we were struggling… with our custody arrangement. There was no possible way for us to continue the way it was going. The stress and demand was too high and its impact was far-reaching.
And now I’m living in this life that I have done everything to avoid. A life without her smiling face every day. It was always my worst case scenario.
Some people say “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” but that was never true for me. From the moment she entered my life, I’ve always known how incredibly lucky I was to have her.
She is everything. She’s passionate and creative. She is the most giving little girl and always wants to make everyone happy.
She makes our world a better place and even though she’s not in our home, she is always in our heart.