Emotions + Eating

The sweetest surprise showed up at my door today… my grandpa with a box from @janjoupatisserie ❤ (you guys he lives 300 miles away!)

He is the most selfless, giving man with the biggest heart for helping others and I am so grateful for him!

I have so many tender memories of our family laughing together at different restaurants, my grandpa bringing home delicious desserts from his business trips, and going on special dates to restaurants that were way too fancy for my little self. These experiences made me feel so loved! 

But at some point, I began associating feelings of comfort and acceptance with eating. 

like that time we went to Europe and ate ALL THE FOOD.

There are two types of thinking: logical and subconscious. Our logical mind states the facts like “I am only going to eat chicken and broccoli”. Our subconscious mind feels and reacts to emotions like “I am feeling stressed so I need to eat my favorite foods” without understanding reason. 
I have an addictive personality and I’m beginning to understand why I struggle with emotional eating so much. My first round of Whole30 gave me perspective on how intense my cravings were when I was confronted with a stressful situation and felt so dependent on food… it was uncontrollable. 

I feel like I’ve tried every diet and nothing works. I can stick to it until I feel overwhelmed and then I HAVE to go out to eat and then I feel so guilty! I get right back on track for as long as possible until I feel stressed out again…. It’s an awful cycle of dependency. Food is the only thing that feels good in that moment. Wow! It was really hard to finally admit that. 

I’m only sharing because a few weeks ago I stumbled upon some information that led to a really powerful realization. And ever since then, I’ve been working with different emotional responses to dig deeper into something I’ve been struggling with my entire life! 

It’s been an amazing process..

I’m still learning so much but my entire perspective has changed. For me this isn’t about Whole30, or paleo, or macros…

It’s about overcoming emotional boundaries and creating a healthy relationship with food as a source of energy. 

This is just the beginning of my journey and I am so excited to share more with you as it unfolds. And I would love to share what I’ve learned with you if you feel prompted to know more! 


  1. Candi says

    Girl this is so me, and you put it into words beautifully. I too am trying to find that relationship with food that means I’m loving my body, seeing myself with a more accurate perception. I’ve struggled with a horrible relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I am working on recognizing the fear I feel when trying to “diet” and being scared that I will fail or end up binging. I’m doing better. I’m choosing to see myself
    With love and use this as a opportunity to grow and not be afraid of food anymore. Choosing to let Heavenly Father help me to fix my perception. Having compassion with myself for the insecurities.
    Don’t know if this makes sense but I’m super excited to read more of your journey.
    Ps, let’s be friends. I have much to learn from you.

  2. Kristin Esplin says

    Cute Ashley-
    First of all, I would agree…you have THE best Grandma and Grandpa ever! They have the biggest hearts and are incredibly gifted at sharing their love in such generous, tender and personal ways. They are truly some of the BEST people I know. Period.

    Second of all, I love that you are so open and willing to share your vulnerabilities. I think this takes tremendous courage and strength!!! You are an amazing individual and I love that you strive to help others along the way. No doubt, you will bless the lives of countless others, following in the legacy of your darling grandparents.